The Therapeutic Alliance: Why the Right Fit Matters

3 - 4 minute read

When you’re thinking about starting counselling, or returning to it after time away, one of the first questions that often comes up is,
“But how do I know who to choose?” It’s a tender place to be - already carrying so much, already feeling stretched - and then suddenly faced with a list of profiles, websites, qualifications, and smiling headshots.

And yet, beneath all the details, something far more important is quietly at play:
the relationship itself.

In counselling, we call this the therapeutic alliance, and it is consistently shown to be one of the strongest predictors of positive change.
Not the model. Not the letters after someone’s name. Not the number of years in practice.
But the relationship - the sense of safety, attunement, and trust we build together.

Why the relationship matters more than the method

Research has long suggested that no matter which therapeutic approach is used, integrative, psychodynamic, humanistic, CBT, trauma-informed, or any blend in between, the quality of the relationship between client and therapist remains the most powerful part of the work.

In simple terms: if you don’t feel safe, seen, or understood, the work can’t really begin.

Therapy is, at its heart, a human-to-human meeting.
You bring your stories, fears, hopes, and questions.
I bring my training, my grounded presence, and my commitment to walking alongside you.
And together we form something that cannot be rushed, forced, or fabricated: a relationship that has space for honesty, discomfort,
curiosity, and healing.

What “the right fit” feels like

Every therapist is different. Every client is different. And every therapeutic relationship is unique.

But there are some common sensations people notice when they’ve found a good fit:

• A sense of being met - not judged, not analysed from afar, but gently understood.

• Feeling able to breathe a little more deeply in the room.

• A softening - even if everything still feels hard.

• Feeling safe enough to be authentic, even when it’s messy or uncertain.

• A quiet knowing: “I can talk to this person.”

This doesn’t mean you’ll always feel comfortable - therapy can sometimes challenge, stir, and stretch you, but it does mean you’ll feel held throughout that process.

It’s absolutely okay to explore

Choosing a therapist doesn’t have to be a lifetime commitment.
Your first session is a chance to get a sense of the space, the tone, and how it feels to sit with that particular person.

I always tell people:
You are allowed to choose. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to prioritise your own sense of safety and connection.

Whether it’s with me or someone else, the most important thing is that you find a therapist who feels right for you.

What I bring to the therapeutic relationship

In my own work, the heart of everything is relational.
My practice is integrative, trauma-informed, LGBTQIA+ affirmative, and grounded in compassion.
But more importantly, I aim to offer a space where you can show up exactly as you are - be that exhausted, hopeful,
wary, curious, overwhelmed, or somewhere in between.

I see therapy as a collaborative process.
We co-create the space.
We work at your pace.
I bring my presence, training, and attunement - and you bring your lived experience and inner wisdom.

Together, we make meaning.
Together, we find steadiness.
Together, we build something that supports your growth.

Finding the right fit isn’t about getting it ‘right’ - it’s about listening to yourself.

You deserve a good fit

If you’re reading this and wondering whether therapy might help, or whether you might feel comfortable with me, please know this:

You deserve to feel safe.
You deserve a therapist who listens deeply.
You deserve a relationship that supports your healing and honours your story.

If you’d like to explore whether we’re a good fit, you’re welcome to reach out or book an initial session.
And if you don’t choose me, I’ll still wholeheartedly encourage you to choose someone who feels right for you,
because the therapeutic alliance is one of the most important foundations for meaningful change.