First Step: What Really Happens In Your First Counselling Session?

3 – 4 minute read

People often tell me that deciding to start counselling feels like standing on the edge of something - part relief, part fear, part quiet hope. If you’re wondering what actually happens in a first session, you’re not alone.

So I want to tell you, gently and honestly, what that first step usually looks like.

A beginning, not an examination

Your initial counselling session isn’t a test. You don’t need to arrive with the right words, a clear plan, or a perfectly told story. There’s no expectation to explain everything all at once, or at all, if you’re not ready.

We sit together, and we begin where you are.

Sometimes that’s with a clear concern.
Sometimes it’s with a sense that something isn’t quite right.
Sometimes it’s simply with a breath and the relief of being able to say, “I don’t really know where to start.”

All of that is welcome.

What we might talk about

In the first session, I’ll invite you to share what’s brought you to counselling now, at your pace, in your own way.
That might include anxiety, overwhelm, relationship difficulties, identity questions, grief, past experiences, or something recent that’s unsettled you.

You don’t have to tell your whole story.
You don’t have to decide what matters most.
We can work that out together, slowly.

My role is to listen carefully, without judgement or pressure, and to help you begin making sense of what you’re carrying.

Understanding how we’ll work together

We’ll also spend some time talking about how counselling with me works - the practical side, but in plain, human language. This includes confidentiality, boundaries, how sessions are structured, and what an integrative, trauma-informed approach looks like in practice.

You’re welcome to ask questions at any point. Nothing is too small or too obvious.

An affirming, inclusive space

Reflectful is an inclusive, affirming space. Whoever you are, however you identify, and whatever your lived experience, you are welcome here. Many people tell me that the first session brings an unexpected sense of relief, not because anything has been “fixed”, but because they feel able to speak openly, without having to explain or defend themselves.

Noticing how it feels

An important part of the first session is simply noticing how it feels to be here. You might sense ease, nervousness, uncertainty, or a mixture of all three. That’s completely normal.

Counselling works best when the relationship feels right, so there’s no obligation to continue if it doesn’t feel like a good fit. We can talk honestly about that, too.

Do you need to prepare?

No. Just come as you are.

Some people bring notes or questions. Others arrive with nothing prepared at all. Both are equally welcome. You can’t do this wrong.

What happens next

Towards the end of the session, we’ll gently check in together: how you’re feeling now, whether you’d like to continue, and what next steps might look like. There’s no pressure to decide immediately. Some people prefer to take time to reflect, and that’s absolutely fine.

Your first session isn’t about being ready.
It’s about being met.

And sometimes, that’s enough for now.

If you’re curious about starting counselling, you’re welcome to get in touch when it feels right for you.